Journeys begin with...

Journeys begin with...
... small steps.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Awake & exhausted - Fri. 6th October (c5:30am)

A restless night. Insomnia is one of the curses of my condition! Some nights I just lie there and give my body a rest. At other times I get up and try and use the time. Upon waking I often recognise immediately if I am not going to get back to sleep. It is an undescribable physical sensation - at least, I have failed to find words to describe it, anyway.

I think that this night's slumber was interrupted due to discomfort in my stomach (griping pains). Over the last couple of months I have been getting pain of varying degrees in this area, and this is currently under investigation. Without wishing to jump the gun on diagnosis, a friend of mine (and fellow Chronic Fatigue Syndrome sufferer) has suggested that Irritable Bowell Syndrome and CFS are often associated. I simply do not have sufficient knowledge of the field to know this, but will ask my doctor, whom I am due to see this morning (I have just written a note to myself).

It is hard to be upbeat at this time in the morning, when you are feeling like shit. At least the headache has receded. However, I know from bitter experience that a price will be paid for this sleep deprivation. I am going to go to the gym again today, and am nervous about it. It's that paradox I mentioned in yesterday's post: do you work through the discomfort and risk crashing, or do you rest up and risk not breaking the cycle of exhaustion. I'm going for the former approach.

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